Water Signs

July 28 - It's ten after four in the morning and I'm squinting at my Pages document with a single line of text: "What bothers me is that we pay to occupy space everywhere we go."

I wrote that last week but was clearly distracted thereafter. I booked a flight to Berlin in August and I'll have to wake up around this time to go to the airport. 

I shake my head just thinking about the ungodly hour and reach for my Evian brumisateur. An aerosol spray that will not be allowed past airport security. I mist myself liberally, but rather too close to my face since the water runs onto my chapped lips in rivulets.*

Even though no one is around to judge me, I am reminded of how, earlier this month, my younger siblings paid attention to and consistently remarked upon the way my one brother and I would drink from a water bottle. We were told that we put our lips over the bottle in a way that facilitates backwash. If anything, I was supremely touched that they noticed. We were on a hike and too thirsty to care. When you live alone for so long, you aren't privy to these careful observations. You just need to suck every last drop of something out of a confined space. 

"I'm a water sign," I have been known to tell men. Do with it what you will.
"Do you believe in astrology?" They narrow their eyes.
I believe everyone should have safe and reliable access to clean drinking water. 

I once went out with a guy who didn't want to carry his own water bottle. This should have been a red flag. I had always felt that we should have had individual water bottles so that we could both enjoy the maximum amount of water. 

We had a minor dispute of sorts in Florence because I downed our shared water bottle in front of him. I'm sure he interpreted this as thoughtless. Reckless, even. Throw in some -less adjectives because if there's one thing that remains true about me to this day, it's that I always want more.

With my denim mom shorts, shapeless silk t-shirt, and black running shoes, I often look like a cross between a camp counsellor and Steve Jobs (RIP). But I know I'd be a horrible leader. Why? Because I'm only looking out for number one.

August 10th - It's ten to four now and I'm at the airport. 
August 17th - It's ten after four and I'm back from Berlin. 

I'm thinking about hyaluronic acid and value maximization. "Money is just numbers on a screen which are subject to change," I tell myself when I have none.  How hard is it to be irreverent? 

*Did you know that a rivulet is also a brownish European moth with white markings, occurring in rough grassland?